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What Men Want For Valentine’s Day

Most men have come to accept on some level that Valentine’s Day is “The Woman’s Holiday”. Just about all of the promotional material you see speaks to what men should do for “her”. That’s the power that media has over our perceptions and beliefs. For example I was shocked when I recently found out that the whole concept of buying an engagement ring didn’t exist at one time.

Debeers, the company who own’s the entire diamond industry created this tradition very intentionally with a targeted campaign. Everyt tradition we observe, from the fact that one must have a ring to propose (nobody did before Debeers told us we had to) to how much one should spend on one, to the terrible notion that the size of the ring dictates how much the guy loves you was all created by the company who owns all the diamond mines in the world. More on that in another article.

So the same thing has happened with Valentine’s Day. And I won’t go through all the examples, they’re too obvious; or should be. But I mention all that to say that Valentine’s Day meant to be celebrated as a day of romance for couples, not just for her. That said, let’s get into what I believe most men want on Valentine’s Day.

1. Inclusion

One of the best things you can do for your man on Valentine’s Day is simply to let him know that this day isn’t just about you. Let him know you want the both of you to celebrate it as a couple. In an environment where the whole holiday is focused entirely on the women, this kind of gesture is really touching to a man. Tell him (and mean it) that you really don’t care what the two of you do or how you observe it, you just want it to be about both of you. Exchange gifts or not, observe the day or not, but let him know you want it to be about more than just you. The first woman to ever say that to me is now my wife. Trust me on this, lol!

2. Appreciation

Many men aren’t often told how much they are appreciated for simply handing their business, being there and doing “what they’re supposed to do” as men (there’s a reason that’s in quotation marks, but again; perhaps another article). We talk a lot about men that don’t, but very seldom do we talk about men that do. On Valentine’s Day show your man how much you love and appreciate him. Tell him. That could be with a really special card, a letter in your own handwriting, or just sitting him down and telling him from your heart. Appreciation is one of the greatest expressions of love you can show a man. It is second only to respect. We’ll move a mountain for you if we can. Tell us you appreciate us though, and we’ll move two.

3. Pampering

Pampering your man is an easy thing that goes a very long way on Valentine’s Day. And because many men are seldom pampered, it takes very little for us to FEEL pampered. And you don’t have to spend much at all. Most men probably won’t be all that interested in the whole Spa thing, but any pampering directly from you would be well received and appreciated. Cook him a nice dinner, give him a massage by candlelight with some soft music, dress sexy, or go out of your way to do anything you know he enjoys but doesn’t receive often. There are so many ways you could make him feel special, and he would love them all just because you made the effort.

4. Practical Gifts.

Some couples don’t exchange gifts at all on Valentine’s Day. If you typically get a gift though, make sure your man gets SOMETHING from you. Be a couple that exchanges gifts or a couple that doesn’t. But don’t let your man buy a gift and receive nothing from you but the “privilege” of getting some that night, which you should be giving him on a regular basis anyway. Imagine how that would go over if you spent $150 on a Valentine’s gift for me as a man and in exchange you “get to have sex with me”, lol! So if you’re expecting a gift then you should get your man something. And again, it really doesn’t have to be a big deal or anything expensive.

Most men know that women hate to receive something practical as a gift, especially on Valentine’s Day. Men are very different in that regard. We love gifts we can use, and we aren’t really picky at all about it.  Give me something that relates to a favorite hobby or pastime of mine. A nice article of clothing or something similar. My wife once made me a gift basket full of my favorite snacks and drinks, plus a really nice mug (every guy has a favorite glass or cup he likes to drink from).

Men will buy you flowers and candy, but most of us don’t think it’s a very practical gift. We buy them because we know that’s what our lady likes (if she doesn’t we know that too), and we want to make our lady happy. Are you getting what I’m saying here? LOL! You’ll buy the best gifts if you approach the process the same way we do.

We are practical thinkers, so we love practical gifts. Gifts that add to our lives in some way. Stuff we’ll use all the time. I read about one man whose wife bought him a really nice thermos for work. He said it was one of the best gifts he’d ever received. No man worth his salt would buy a woman a vacuum cleaner or something like that for Valentine’s Day, but a man who loves to work with his hands would love a great set of tools or something. This is where knowing your man, what he likes, what he’s into, what his favorite things to do around the house are and how he likes to relax all come into play.


In summary, the absolute best thing you can do for your man on Valentine’s Day is just show him that you have no intention of letting this day be only about you. Almost any effort in this regard is good enough for a man. But if you really want to make him feel even better, let him know that you feel the same way. You will almost never hear a man complain about how much money you spent or didn’t spend, and you shouldn’t either. Tell him he doesn’t have to spend a lot of money, buy expensive flowers, etc to make you happy. Let him know that it’s just the thought and effort that counts, and that you want the holiday to be about the both of you celebrating romance as a couple.

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